How to deal with negative emotions.

2 min read

Cultures progress as they find better ways to deal with the challenges they face, when this doesn´t happen then cultures stagnate or collapse.

One of the most important glues of any culture its the beliefs its holds, what do people belonging to that culture beilieve in?

Some of the challenges we face in our daily lives we cannot depend on other people to solve them. Because they are conflicts originated within ourselves, let me rephrase that they are originated outside ourselves but maintained inside. We are responsible for any lack of emotional wellbeing, even if most inner conflict is originated outside of us. Some of the most frequent psychological conflicts are originated on the preasures and expectations of a society that functions to preserve itself while struggling to cope with challenges. Often there is conflict and friction between what society demands from us to fit in,  what other people want from us and what we prefer, intense unresolved conflict can result in trauma and psychological wounds. A very important step in mental health and emotional healing is to realize what do we believe in, how do we really feel, what are our intentions? but also what are the believes of our society (country, city, community), what is the emotional climate of our surroundings and what are the intentions of people we interact with. All this consideration don´t need to become very complex, we will reduce our area of focus to emotions and how we deal with them when they are uncomfortable.

There is this mainstream belief that if we have a negative emotion we must do something to hide it or eliminate it. All kinds of psychological and physical symptoms arise when we repress our emotions and specially when we are mean to ourselves for having certain emotions. There is often a delicate line between exercisizing healthy control of our emotions while acknowledging them and constant denial, suppression and repression of our emotional landscapes. This is because most cultures are educated on the premise on fitting in to produce and survive, rather than development of character, individuality and empathy. However as the challenges our society face are changing we are seeing a slow but continuos shift, a renovation of old paradigms, we are starting to understand now how important is to educate individuals that understand emotions, that understand the need to look deeper into things to cooperate better.

Whatever emotion you resist, either by trying to suppress or block it out of your consciousness, will  increase its intensity and either manifest as a strange symptom or wait in the subconscious for a moment of weakness to arise.

What we need to do is to pay attention to those uncomfortable emotions, to find a way to experience them fully, to accept their presence. We dont need to do anything to get rid of them. We need to accept them, even welcoming them. We will notice that if we do this the intensity they have will diminish. If they don´t diminish or dissapear it means we are probably still resisting them and only experiencing them partially.

A key element when allowing to feel our emotions is to meet  those emotions with compassion towards ourselves. If we embrace our dark emotions without compassion, then probably criticism will appear and we will probably make the symptoms increase.

When we are able to accept our emotions and treat ourselves with compassion. Not only we will experience a reduction of unpleasant and mysterious symptoms but also a significant rise in the quality of our relationships with others. Often the way we relate to others is a projection (a reflection) of the way we relate to ourselves.

This is something I can help you do during counselling sessions. The emotions that are haunting us are doing so because we don´t fee strong or safe enough to fully experience them. In a safe warm setting, with my assistance, you can do that.  Once he face and embrace an emotion then it ceases to have power over us. Often these emotions we need to process them more because they involve memories and experiences that we have not been able to fully digest, this could be due to a traumatic nature of such experience or-and we might have had to push it put of our awareness to maintain our daily living "normal" functioning and commitments.

This can be applied to many issues commonly seeing in counselling practice: bereavement, relationship problems, anxiety, depression, anger, phobias.

My aim is to help faciitate this process so that it becomes as rewarding and effective as possible for you.

Please write in comments below any questions or ideas this text might have inspired on you.

Thank you.

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